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Here are see key concerns with some suggested responses.
One parent in particular is making my life a misery. She criticises me constantly and I feel totally undermined by her. What can I do?
Many teachers have had this experience at some point in their career and it can be stressful and demoralising. Whatever you do, don’t take it personally! It’s important to alert your line manager and/ or induction tutor about what’s going on. Her comments should be listened to, but if you ever feel that they are unfair or unreasonable, calmly state that you will raise what she has said with your manager and a meeting will be arranged during which these matters can be discussed.
Comments from parents should be listened to but don’t necessarily have to be taken on board if they have no grounding in reality. It could be that your headteacher could talk or write to her to come to some understanding. Above all else, do not let incidents like this undermine your confidence in your abilities. If anything, use them to confirm to yourself that you know what you are doing and are justified in taking the actions you take. Criticism can be great if it’s constructive - after all it helps to propel us towards making improvements and becoming more effective in whatever it is that we are doing – but constant undermining serves no positive purpose and you don’t have to tolerate it.
If you feel that this situation has not been handled sufficiently by your managers, and it has not been resolved satisfactorily, you may want to discuss matters with ATL.
Some of the parents of children in my class have asked if they can help in the classroom. I’m not keen at this point in my career but feel I ought to say yes. Any ideas on dealing with this so I don’t offend anyone?
The first thing to consider is, what is your school's policy on having parent helpers in the classroom? Some are very keen while others prefer not to encourage this. Don’t do anything at all without first discussing it with your headteacher.
If you decide to make use of this offer of help, and your headteacher is in agreement, talk to you induction tutor about it. Perhaps you can identify some tasks which could usefully be done by a parent while you get on with teaching. Remember that they would have to go through a Criminal Records Bureau check. It would also be a good idea to discuss closely with any parent helpers exactly what it is that you want them to do, and how to do it. You may like to keep a notebook with a list of tasks they could be getting on with that they could refer to each time they visit your classroom. It’s also a good idea if you can arrange a regular time they turn up, so that there’s some structure to the help they are giving you. Remember, though: don’t do anything with any offers of help without discussing them in detail with your head teacher. There are child protection issues which need to be considered.
However, if you really don’t want to accept any offers of help, then you can politely decline them for the time being. That way you are not saying never but you are buying yourself time until you feel more confident about using additional help in this way.
I was recently in a situation where a parent behaved in what I would describe as an inappropriate way. I had no idea how to deal with it. What should I have done?
It is never acceptable for a parent to put a teacher in a position that they feel is inappropriate. You do not have to tolerate that, although it can be difficult to deal with at the time.
If it happens again, politely remove yourself from the situation (give an excuse, for example, being late for a meeting) and make a written record of exactly what happened, what was said, what was intimated and any actions that took place. As soon as possible report the incident to your headteacher. If you are a member of ATL, you may also like to seek advice from your school rep, your branch secretary or the London, Belfast or Cardiff office.
You should expect total support from your headteacher in resolving the issue. It could be that the parent is communicated with about the incident, but whatever happens you should feel safe and supported. If you don’t, it will be advisable to discuss the matter with your union. Never feel that you have to just put up with this kind of behaviour. It should always be taken seriously.
The parent of one child in my class is known to be aggressive. I have to meet him about some issues that have arisen regarding his son. Are there any points I should remember when I do this? How should I handle it?
This probably won’t happen much in your career but you’re wise to be aware of the risks when it does. If this parent has a history of aggressive behaviour you should not be expected to meet him on your own, and it would be perfectly reasonable for you to request that another member of staff be present when you do meet.
As a teacher, you do not have to tolerate any level of aggression directed at you by a parent. It is never acceptable. These precautions can help you to avoid being in a situation when aggression may arise:
It's always going to best for the child if channels of free communication can be kept open between the school and a parent such as this, but you do not have to risk your personal safety in order to achieve this. Be aware and take precaution!
One parent has complained that I don’t give their child enough homework and yet I carefully stick to the school policy on homework. Should I give more work to the child?
It's a good idea always to refer complaints such as this to your headteacher. As long as you have been following your school’s policy on homework, which will have been conveyed to parents, you should receive your head teacher’s full support.
Treating this particular child differently by setting extra homework is inadvisable. However, after discussing the matter with your head teacher, you may decide to set some extension work for this child to do. This should not be work that requires you to spend additional time on marking and assessment, but it could appease the parent and nurture the child’s interest in his or her work. That said, any such arrangement should be fully discussed and agreed between you, the parent and the headteacher and should not add unduly to your workload. If you’re abiding by your school’s homework policy, this should be your call.
This advice is offered by Elizabeth Holmes, author of ATL’s publication Apply yourself!.
The text is taken from Elizabeth’s book FAQs for NQTs: Practical advice and working solutions for newly qualified teachers. (2006) Routledge. Hardback ISBN: 0415367956; price £65 Paperback ISBN 0415367964 ; price £16.99.
Help and support
For further advice on this issue, ATL members can speak to their school rep, their branch secretary or their regional official. They can also call the London (020 7930 6441), Cardiff (029 2046 5000) or Belfast office (02890 327 990) or email info@atl.org.uk.
For out of hours enquiries, call the out of office hours helpline on 020 7782 1612 (Monday-Friday, 5-8pm during term time). If you are not a member, join now.
Your first teaching job marks an incredibly exciting time ahead but as well as excitement you may also feel apprehension.You certainly won't be alone in this. Knowing where to turn for help and advice before you start work will assist you to thrive, not just survive, in this all-important year. That’s why we’ve created this booklet for you. Not only does it include tips on things like parents’ evenings, writing reports or disciplining pupils, it also guides you through the various ways ATL can provide advice and support.
Download now - 36 pp - Pdf document (488k)